Body Battles
I decided it was time to bite the bullet and open up about my struggles last year because I think anorexia is an extremely relevant & serious issue that many people are uncomfortable discussing and accepting. As many family & friends observed I lost an absurd amount of weight last year. It all started in an attempt to just feel better about my body for senior spring break. I never stopped eating or picked up a serious diet regimen. I just started being more aware, slowly cutting out high carb foods such as pizza & pasta. Then I moved to a reduction in healthy fats such as peanut butter & hummus (things I loved). I was eating one full meal a day, dinner, aways dinner. A huge dinner in fact usually consisting of vegetables in huge amounts. I finally felt like I had some control in one aspect of my life while all others seemed to be managed by my parents or teachers. I had the power to decide what went into my mouth and how it would affect my body. I felt great, but all my time and energy revolved around food and exercise. My anxiety levels would rise as I tried to schedule my workout in between my classes at Michigan State. Missing a day in my head meant I wasn't allowed to eat a normal caloric amount. My mindset was, "if I'm not working out I shouldn't really be hungry".Even when I did get my daily workout in, I wasn't taking in enough calories to compensate for the amount I had worked off, leaving me at a caloric deficit on the regular. It wasn't intentional and I never thought I was fat nor was I obsessively weighing myself praying the digits on the scale would decline.
Working out and eating were my escapes when I was trying to adapt to changes in my everyday life and find myself in a new city. Although most would say this is a healthy alternative to how many others may cope with struggles in life, it went too far. Therefore, I urge you to alter your thoughts and widen your range of what you define as beautiful. Being stick thin and having a flat stomach may seem glamorous, but at the end of the day, I wasn't happy. I was a freshman in college whose life consisted of classes, studying, and exercise. My phone was blowing up with messages from my doctor asking me about my current weight and wondering when I would be home next to meet him at the hospital on a Saturday morning just to step on the scale. My grandma would continually ask me if I wanted a fried pickle and tell me my face was too thin. I would avoid going out to eat with friends and people in my life were leaving me one second after the next because I wasn't Cameron anymore. I was an obsessive, control freak who only cared about my gym time to escape from the world.
Approximately 8 million people in the U.S. are affected by eating disorders. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me for guidance and support. You are not alone.
Email: [email protected]
Working out and eating were my escapes when I was trying to adapt to changes in my everyday life and find myself in a new city. Although most would say this is a healthy alternative to how many others may cope with struggles in life, it went too far. Therefore, I urge you to alter your thoughts and widen your range of what you define as beautiful. Being stick thin and having a flat stomach may seem glamorous, but at the end of the day, I wasn't happy. I was a freshman in college whose life consisted of classes, studying, and exercise. My phone was blowing up with messages from my doctor asking me about my current weight and wondering when I would be home next to meet him at the hospital on a Saturday morning just to step on the scale. My grandma would continually ask me if I wanted a fried pickle and tell me my face was too thin. I would avoid going out to eat with friends and people in my life were leaving me one second after the next because I wasn't Cameron anymore. I was an obsessive, control freak who only cared about my gym time to escape from the world.
Approximately 8 million people in the U.S. are affected by eating disorders. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me for guidance and support. You are not alone.
Email: [email protected]
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