Recovery
I cannot say I have fully recovered or ever will. Eating disorders stem from control issues and a mentality that is difficult to alter completely. I look to my mom for guidance and support often because she also developed an eating disorder around my age. I am learning to maintain the weight I am at and develop a better relationship with food. However, of course everyone's biggest fear in the recovery process is falling into the trap of "Refeeding Syndrome". When I learned about this philosophy I was horrified and still am. Due to the fact that I had put my body into starvation mode for so long, my metabolism slowed down and as I began increasing my caloric intake the numbers on the scale rose significantly. It will take your body time, but IT WILL BALANCE OUT. Eventually you will hit a set point and your body systems will stabilize.
Balance has become my main priority. I have started tracking the amounts I consume in each of the food groups. As well as working to make sure I'm consuming protein and fats in adequate amounts. At times there will be episodes where you'll eat too much and feel completely out of control, but it's because your body is afraid you'll attempt to starve it again. You haven't gained its trust back yet. Therefore, it wants to store up as many calories as possible. Sometimes its difficult to convince your mind and body that you won't abuse it like that again. It's important to remember how fragile our bodies can be and how important it is to respect them so we can live longer, healthier, and happier lives. |